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The worst football fashions: From Kalvin Phillips' pastries to Neymar's shorts

Footballing fashion at its best

Kalvin Phillips has been showing off his latest clothing accessories, but which other footballers can claim to be the kings of fashion? Neymar, Gerard Pique, Lionel Messi...Tom Davies?

When you're a footballer who has got so much money they don't know what to do with it, purchasing some apparently odd clothing probably doesn't seem that big a thing.
To the rest of us poor underlings, living out dreary lives in our holes in the ground covered only by a cloud of sorrow, they bring us great joy. There is nothing better than seeing tremendous clothes on a tremendous footballer...

Kalvin Phillips

Kalvin Phillips was signing autographs this week while wearing what looked like giant folds of warm pastry on his feet, apparently a designer shoe company prototype.

Not to mention a coat and pants that appears to be inspired by the surrealist movement. So what if Kalvin looks like he should be a hobbit, it has given us all much pleasure.

Gerard Pique

Gerard Pique is a handsome man, a great player and a fearless dresser.

You might mock his wool chainmail, matching jumper and balaclava but you know you'd love to wear it on a cold and frosty morning, even if it does make you look like a soft crusader.

Mario Balotelli

When it comes to amusingly outlandish clothes, look no further than Mario Balotelli. This hat is brilliant. Is it a coxcomb? Is it a hand? Are those udders?

It looks heavy, so you'll have to develop your neck muscles if you want to be like Balotelli. Thank you Mario, you are making our lives more fun.

Hector Bellerin

Who hasn't wanted to go out wearing pyjamas? I know I have.

And that's all Hector Bellerin has done here, put it with an old overcoat with a stencilled image of someone looking like Siouxsie Sioux on it and slapped the whole lot with a pair of patent leather/black velvet shoes, which naturally have matching feathers.

The fact he doesn't seem the least embarrassed and indeed looks less like a footballer and more like a Fine Art student, is brilliant. Thanks Hector, with your notoriously eclectic dress sense you are entertaining us mightily.

Neymar

He's the most expensive player in the history of football and if that doesn't give you licence to wear bizarre clothes then what does?

Neymar arrives at a promotional event to launch his Diesel perfume (sorry, 'fragrance'), in a random selection of clothes that appear to have been found in the skip his expression suggests he woke up in.

Are they long shorts or are they short trousers? I bet it takes a lot of money to look that cheap. But at least he'll smell nice.

Tom Davies

When you play for Everton and Frank Lampard is taking you down, you need to wear something to make life a little bit more joyful.
Tom Davies cheers us all up with this Justin Hawkins of The Darkness meets 1950s Oxford University professor in a smoking jacket look. But it is the small pointy purple shoes that make us clap. They seem to belong to a wee ballet dancer not a box-to-box midfielder. We'd like to see him play a game in them.
So to all of football's most outlandish dressers, we raise a glass in celebration.

Without their exuberant, some might say, bonkers approach to dressing, the world would be stuck with the boring football fashion found in the Messistore or Cristiano Ronaldo's gigantic wardrobe, which is basically the same as you'd find in Top Man, worn a size too small, for a price too large. Boo. 

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